Time to Put Yourself on the Pedestal

by: Tasher

Time to kick them off the pedestal; your ex doesn’t deserve to be there, YOU do! Take time and really think about it, then answer a few questions for me. Was your ex a wonderful precious person that put you and your relationship above everything else? Probably not and most likely there were many other flaws in this broken relationship.

If they were everything your memory is building them up to be you would still be together. Wouldn’t they have been smart enough not to let you go? That fact alone should show you your ex-partner is not the sharpest tool in the shed! Many times people are just simply afraid of being alone and settle for a partner that is not fulfilling.

Rather than, accept the reality that they may have just settled in their last relationship, people will choose to only remember the good the ex-partner did and not the type of person they really are. If you have a pair of “rose colored glasses” on, now is the time to take them off. Have you ever thought to yourself “OH my goodness, how did this happen, how did I get here?” Even if you were the one that initiated the divorce you still need time to heal. There will still be times when you feel alone. Realize that the lonely feelings won’t last forever, unless you let them.

Take a moment and really think about it, you probably were alone before they physically left, and now you’re dealing with the reality of life without them. In some ways, it might be a relief. No more walking on egg shells. You get the bed all to yourself, and all the blankets to boot! It’s ok to be you and do the things you like. This is a major life change; time is your friend now. If you process your feelings, time will help heal your wounds. Give yourself permission to accept this transitional period. It really will get better so for your first step start enjoying  all the things you no longer have to share! No question looking for love after 5, 10 or 20 years of marriage can be very stressful.

Face the facts we look older even if we don’t feel it, and we all have baggage. The idea of emailing, texting, going on dates and facing possible further rejection, is frightening. So much has changed since the last time you were in the looking for someone dating world. For many the internet wasn’t even a source for meeting people back in the day. You must embrace this new technology it is here to stay! There is another bonus to learning this new way of dating. It is proven you are exercising your brain when you learn a new task. So get out there and work that grey matter!

There ARE other people just like you out there: they have histories, they have sensitivities, they are lonely they want someone to love, and they want to be loved by someone. The trick is how to find them, be smart about how you look and not pick someone who is just like your ex. Do you really want a carbon copy of a relationship you know doesn’t work? If anything you’re correcting a mistake that was hurting four people, you and the person you’re with, not to mention the two people who you were destined to meet.” ~ D. Ivan Young, in “Break Up, Don’t Break Down”

Tasher, an experienced businesswoman. She founded and launched http://divorcedandscarednomore.com/ Divorced and Scared No More.com in November 2012. It quickly received a worldwide following. Her website has over 20 regular contributors who, like Tasher, share because they have “been there and done that” and understand how it FEELS. She is a contributing expert for  http://hopeafterdivorce.org/ HopeAfterDivorce.org http://familyshare.com/ FamilyShare.com http://www.cupidspulse.com/ CupidsPulse.com, http://www.lafamily.com/ LAFamily.com, http://www.ocregister.com/ Orange County Register, http://goodmenproject.com/author/tasher/ The Good Men Project, http://www.sassysinglemom.com/ SingleSassyMom.com, Guest Co-Host on http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/podcast-archive/, Single Again Now What, and does guest appearances on http://www.blogtalkradio.com/bsquared, Developing a New YOU. Tasher is also involved with the http://toughangels.org/who-we-are/ Tough Angels Organizations, http://toughangels.org/wedding-ring-project/, Rings of Hope Project. Tasher is single, a mother of three adult children, and a proud Grammy to three grandchildren. She lives in Texas with her daughter, two grandchildren, two dogs, two cats, two fish and a bunny. You can follow Tasher on FBhttps://www.facebook.com/DivoredAndScaredNoMore, Divorced and Scared NO More and Twitter https://twitter.com/Divorced_Scared @Divorced_Scared.