by: Lisa Borchetta, MACP, CMC, ACC
Sometimes a "negative" event can have a positive outcome. We all are familiar with the old adage about "learning from our mistakes," making "lemons into lemonade," and "making the best of a bad situation." We experience it and see the net effect of such phenomenon all the time on both personal and societal levels. "Amber alerts", air bags and bicycle helmets, are some examples of societal and cultural attempts respond in a positive, pro-active way to negative events.
On a personal level, something as difficult and painful as a divorce can lead to more positive outcomes; getting out an abusive situation, meeting “the love of your life”, and living a more “authentic”, honest way – to name just a few.
But in order to move forward in a positive way we are required to have at the very least two essential ingredients; 1) goals and aspirations, and 2) plans and action. If you have always dreamed of having your own organic, hydroponic vegetable farm but lack the ability to develop a plan and the persistence to do the work needed to get it going - then it's never going to happen. Similarly, if you have the innate ability to become a brilliant writer but lack the confidence and drive required to both get your words onto paper and get that paper disseminated to your audience then you will never experience the joy of connecting with and reaching others in that way.
In order to turn a bad situation into a positive one you have to recognize what needs to change, envision what you want to happen and take the steps necessary to make it happen. Though a little bit of luck, and being in the right place at the right time doesn't hurt either, nothing will change unless you have what it takes to seize the moment and take action. It's not easy all the time, particularly when the situation is so huge and the stakes and emotions are running so high. Life circumstances are often outside of our control - but how we react to those challenges and what we decide to do about them - is. You don't need a negative catalyst to get the ball rolling, though often they do provide some added motivation.
Feel overwhelmed? Like it’s more than you can handle? Don’t know where to start? How to articulate those things that are most important to you? Well, you don’t have to go it alone. There are plenty of professionals out there to help, not to mention family and friends. The work is yours – but there are still many sources of support to assist you in articulating your vision and taking the steps necessary to get there.
I am not advocating putting on rose colored glasses during what will likely be one of the most challenging moments of your life. But that doesn’t mean you can’t survive and thrive. It may be the slowest pitcher of lemonade ever made, but those lemons won’t transform unless you put the work in – to make it happen. Isn't it time you treat yourself to a nice tall glass of lemonade?
Lisa Borchetta, MACP, CMC, ACC is a Certified Life Coach and owner of Firebird Life Coaching. In addition to her coaching work with individual and group clients, Lisa is also a public speaker, teacher and writer. She is a former Mental Health Counselor and holds a Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology. Lisa writes for HopeAfterDivorce.org, FamilyShare.com, CupidsPulse.com, and LAFamily.com. You can visit Lisa’s website atwww.firebirdlifecoaching.com, her blog at firebirdlifecoach.wordpress.com and her FB page atwww.facebook.com/FirebirdLifeCoaching.