Even If It Is Not Illegal, Airing Dirty Laundry Hurts

by: Tasher

Paul and Lilly had gone through a very painful divorce. Like many, during their separation, they both had un-friended each other. They had adult children that were on both of their friend lists on the social network. Unfortunately, neither had blocked the ex nor set the privacy to friends only, and the default setting was used so friends of friends could read posts. Lilly found out that Paul had been reading her posts and going to her page through the children’s account. One evening Lilly decided she was going to teach Paul a lesson. Lilly posted a detailed description of her sexual activities with her new beau. Then she went on to compare him to Paul including, but not limited to, their physical abilities. Paul was furious, and without thinking he posted several of the secrets Lilly had shared with him over the years including her deepest fears and many closely guarded painful memories including how she felt when her parents divorced.

He also posted photos of her that Lilly had thought were destroyed long ago. Now all of these posts and photos were public knowledge for the whole world, including their parents and children, to see. Lilly and Paul had blocked their children from seeing the comments, but many of their friends did, and the children quickly found out.

Before you post anything ask yourself these questions. Do you really want to be known as the person that goes around trashing your ex staying stuck in the mud? How would you feel knowing your parents or children have to explain your posts to their friends? Divorce is hard everyone. It includes many feelings and emotions that are painful. There will be times you feel like telling the world, but in years to come you may not feel the same. Many times people will slip and make a comment. If you have injured your ex-partner in any way through your postings or photos — delete them. This is not just a legal issue, but it is a moral issue.

You cannot unring a bell. In fact, some newspapers in years past had to write retractions. We cannot do that as effectively on social media, but you can publicly say, "I’m sorry. I should not have posted the comment or photo the other day." Have a song attached like  ”I hope you dance” and wish your ex well.

We all make mistakes. At least, this action will portray you as a person that is mature enough to admit your mistakes. If your ex wants to stay in the mud — let them, but now is your time to shine and be above all the mess.


Tasher, an experienced businesswoman, FoundedDivorced and Scared No More.comin November 2012. It quickly received a worldwide following. Her website has over 20 regular contributors who, like Tasher, share because they have “been there and done that” and understand how it FEELS. This is a shining example of how people have taken the lemons they were given and turned them into a Zesty Lemon Sorbet. Her quest to help others forgive the past and rejoice in their new life did not stop with the website.

Tasher is a regular contributor at HopeAfterDivorce.orgFamilyShare.com,Cupid’s Pulse,LAFamilyOrange County Register,The Good Men Project,Single Sassy Mom (dot) com, Guest Co-Host onSingle Again Now Whatand does guest appearances onDeveloping a New YOU. She is also involved with theTough Angels Organizations Rings of Hope Project. Tasher is single and a mother of three adult children and a proud Grammy to three grandchildren. She lives in Houston, TX with her daughter, two grandchildren, two dogs, two cats, two fish and a bunny. You can follow Tasher on FBDivorced and Scared NO More and Twitter @Divorced_Scared