by: Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
Parenting during and after divorce can be complex, frustrating and confusing. However, every day parents around the world are coping with the challenges and raising happy, well-adjusted children.
There are many factors that influence your effectiveness as a parent. Here, we’ll review three factors that play an important role in your pre- and post-divorce parenting success.
Monitor Your Attitude
Attitude plays a crucial part in every facet of our lives and especially when we’re coping with divorce. If you approach your divorce with a commitment to making it as positive an experience as possible on behalf of the children you love, you are on your way to succeeding. What attitude are you conveying about your divorce? Try to catch your thoughts and the way you speak about it. Are you filled with negativity? Are your days consumed with a “poor me” state of consciousness? Are you attracting and spending time with others who share those sentiments? If so, it’s time for an overhaul in your thinking and attitude.
A Child-Centered Divorce is created over weeks, months and years of attention to positive parenting. It’s never too late to start regardless of how long you have been divorced. The decisions you make today will affect the relationships within your family tomorrow and for decades to come.
Understand the Power of Perceptions
The world is what we perceive it to be. Whether you believe it’s good or bad – you will be right – and will create an outcome to justify your belief. If you perceive yourself to be a victim in your divorce, you will focus on evidence to prove that to be true. If you, instead, look upon your divorce as a life experience from which to learn, you will derive many benefits and value from the divorce, no matter how much pain is also involved.
In addition, you’ll be better able to accept responsibility for the part you played in the process and be more willing to contemplate new ways to live your life in the future that will bring more positive results. Sadly, it’s through challenging experiences that we grow and learn the most from life. Are you uncovering meaningful lessons for you?
Look for the Gift Behind the Challenge
There are always lessons to be learned from painful experiences. If you perceive those lessons as “gifts” to you – wisdom and opportunities you will never have otherwise experienced – you can move on from your divorce a better, stronger, wiser person. There is always a gift to be received if you look for it. Those who do are rewarded with greater insight and a more positive approach to every life challenge, even divorce!
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, is a Divorce and Parenting Coach, founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network and author of the internationally-acclaimed ebook, "How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! For her free ebook on Post-Divorce Parenting, free articles and ezine, her coaching services and other valuable resources for parents, go to:http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.